So how about that local sports team?....

We have all been there, those awkward moments when we are getting ready to start a business meeting or presentation and we are looking at our shoes for something clever to say to keep the conversation going.  Nothing comes out.  We have all experienced it, and we all have marvelled at the folks who seem to just get in and start a conversation with anyone.  What is their secret?  Are they born with some great talent for conversation?
I struggled with this early on in my business life and I have never become some great conversation master, however I have found a few things that help.
Keep in mind I have gone through times when I felt as awkward as a 12 year old on his first date and have gone through waves of meeting that I thought afterwards "hey I should host my own late night talk show!"
The best has been the steady middle where I have been able to start and hold those great conversations that lead to a real successful meeting.  What helped?  These are a few of my thoughts:
1- Practice, like jumping into a cold pond, at first you shake and shiver, but after a while you wonder what all the fuss was about.  By practice I mean start conversations every chance you get.  Waiting for the elevator, in a slow checkout line, walking by someone out raking the leaves.  These are all low risk situations.  You are not going to blow a business relationship or wreck a good venture by having a bad conversation in these situations.  They will however, give you practice, and confidence.  Eventually you will become someone who easily starts conversations.

2- Remember that everyone has that one favorite topic: Themselves!  We all love to talk about us, our experiences, our business, how we got started in selling brake parts in New York, our kids, our dogs, etc.  We all need someone who will listen to us in earnest.  If you can do this and listen to people with real interest you have broken through the biggest barrier.

3-Work on remembering little points of interest about people you meet.  You will be surprised how many people are amazed that we remember that they collect old beer bottles, or they have 8 cats or they are a big fan of professional cricket.  I think we are amazed and impressed by this trait as so few people take the real time to listen and absorb what someone is saying.  We tend to be thinking of our response while the other person is talking so we can get our 2 cents in and there is no way you can absorb and really listen when you are doing this.  Try listening as if you can't respond, your lips are sewn shut you can only listen.

Simply put the best way to get good at these conversations is to keep having them, be a good listener and remember what someone says.  The greatest conversationalists are the ones who say the least and get the other person talking.